


Breath for my soul

by abidingSpiro



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, M/M, Multi, POV Alternating, Past Abuse, Religious Cults, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27201250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abidingSpiro/pseuds/abidingSpiro
Summary: Mian: We were planning to open a toy store with AI toys that my husband made and maybe having some kids (I was the no-eyes gal here, don’t forget it). While marshmallow boi went to therapy after we broke into a religious cult to save him and the blind sea scented photographer guy died. But, there was also something about a what if I knew everyone sooner, then I had the chance to end with the psychotic head of the cult (she was hot). Oh I forgot, It was supposed to be a game but… I was there. I would have pleaded for my life more but everyone were so impossibly hot it was distracting haha;;;laughsassin: holy shit...laughsassin: So you are telling me you alter-universe married the guy you met today. I would have appreciated if you didn’t elaborate with the entire backstory of the dude or the things that you made your poor eyeless avatar girl doMian: I told you she did it on her own!Mian: Also, I did kept some things confidentiallaughsassin: didn´t help tholaughsassin: if this is the revised and censored version and it did include religious cults and emotional abuse, better keep this pg16laughsassin:  (pg13 already violated with mentions of violence)
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel/Main Character, 707 | Choi Luciel/Original Character(s), 707 | Choi Luciel/Original Gender Neutral Character(s), 707 | Choi Luciel/Original Male Character(s), Han Jumin & Zen | Ryu Hyun, Kim Yoosung/Original Character(s), Kim Yoosung/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	1. Obsession and Asphyxia (I just got your messages)

I am bored but anxious —a typical mix in my life. While I’m staring at the passersby through the window of the cafeteria, which is slightly sprayed with raindrops, I let myself have the usual rant.

Life is an ongoing adventure that doesn’t need a purpose to feel worthwhile. Hell, it doesn’t even have to be ‘worthwhile’ to begin with. It just is. Shit just happens and keeps happening. Nevertheless, I always feel like there is something more, something to figure about it. A puzzle that lives in my mind and I need to solve it. Like a ghost-call that plays a song in synchrony with my heart, not my soul, because I can’t feel anything that strong.

No matter what I do, it just keeps playing. Telling me I should do something, but I don’t know what that is. So I orbit life lost and insecure.

If only there were a signal, an anything to tell me I’m on the right track. Friends, Family, whatever. I sure love them with that platonic feeling, but I still find myself detached from the events of my own life and my own self. It’s suffocating. I let a hand barely touch my throat, like if I were literally out of air or wanting to do something else. I dig my nail slowly forming a line which leaves a paler line that will fade in seconds, but now contrast with my skin.

I put my hand down and try to chew the next piece of a chocolate cake that’s too sweet for my liking, so I balance the taste with bitter coffee mixed with a shot of vodka. _Shhhhhh,_ nobody needs to know. I carry it everywhere, I can’t get drunk anyways, It’s just the taste what I like.

You would think an overseas trip sounds exciting, you were wrong. But I won’t blame you, I fell for it too. In the end, it’s pretty much the same, just a different landscape.

What’s wrong with me tonight? I close my eyes as my frustration rises, I want to shout to whoever wrote my life and to myself, how stupid everything is. I don’t do it though, because I know I got to fake I’m a half decent person. Moreover, I know there is millions of people out there having the same useless train of thought at this exact same moment. I’m not special and I don’t care about it. I just want to stop myself from asking the same questions but, as always, I fail miserably. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

That’s enough self-introspection for today. I finish my cake and extend my hand to grab my coffee, but my stupidity seems to have no limits, I spill it for being so self-absorbed. Thanks, this is my sign to “stop thinking about useless shit”. I watch it roll on the table and drop, spilling its remains on the shoes of a poor fool that decided to walk too close to my table, right on the instant my neural connections were on strike.

“Sorry man, let me clean it for you”

My voice is like a lazy oath for the sake of politeness. I take a look at the suspected fool, hope they don’t care either.

“Oh! Don’t worry.”

Damn, he’s cute. I almost cough out of embarrassment. He acts like it isn’t a big deal, like he could keep walking, but he stands still. I guess he’s confused. Don’t worry man, it’ll just take a couple of seconds. I do my best at cleaning his shoe with the paper towel. It’s a little awkward considering I’m still sitting, and maybe I shouldn’t be doing this, but whatever. There’s something familiar about him. Yellow eyes, redhead, striped glasses; that is an oddly specific description. Why is it so familiar? Around fifteen seconds and it’s done, he walks away and I stand up to retrieve the mug. I’m rehearsing my apologies to the personnel of the cafeteria.

I glance at his back as he slowly disappears.

\----------------------------------------

-Today at 17:32-

> **Mian:** Guess what, today I met the most handsome man on earth like anime handsome. No, I’m not joking, he could be a model. He, at least, appeared like a natural redhead. With curled hair and amber eyes. Good build like he works out and good sense of style too. Anyways, I was dissociating again lol and spilled coffee on his shoe lol x2  
>  **Mian:** He was kind of familiar, will update you later

\----------------------------------------

  
Sent, because it is never too early to spam your friends with messages about the little things that happen in your mostly uneventful life. I put my phone in my pocket and begin walking home. Feeling like someone seems familiar isn’t something that happens everyday. I’m closer to forgetting classmate’s names and faces or suddenly realize I have a class with someone I know, when the term is almost over, than that. It can be a slip of my mind but It’s strange. Just thinking about this person is strange, a feeling I can’t describe.

  
As I take an absent look at the stores and buildings beside me, I imagine how his personality would be. Maybe he’s funny, the kind of friend that pulls pranks without crossing the line too much and enjoys fooling around, but always makes sure everyone is alright with it. But why would he joke so much? Maybe he needs it, like someone who’s hurting inside so much, he needs to act like someone else that turns everything into a joke to forget everything for a moment.

  
_Hmm._

  
That is, again, an oddly specific description. Too personal to be casualty and too different from me to be self-reflecting.  
While I’m trying to figure what the fuck is wrong with me for the second time (wow, it’s been a long time since that happened twice) something appears in my mind… like memories? But that can’t be, I met this guy today, if that cliche one line act can be considered knowing someone. I don’t even know his name. Oh, I know his name? Luciel… Choi. But I used to call him Seven? Luciel Choi? _Used to?_ Oh right, his real name was Saeyoung Choi. Perfect. Just let me gather this properly. First, what the fuck. Second, excuse me, _what the fuck?!?!_

  
The next second, I’m sprinting towards the cheap apartment I started living in a few days ago, adrenaline driven. The apartment it’s on the second floor. Like a man on a mission, I put my keys out in anticipation, open the door and go straight into my room. A worn out notebook that I don’t trust anyone near, so I brought to my trip. It’s been a while since the last time I opened it, that last time being when I got accepted in college. Some drawings pop out as I read what’s inside.

> **I didn’t want to write this but it’s been days with the same. I talk with this sketchy guy, go to this apartment and a bunch of guys and a gal give me a warm welcome telling me what am I doing in his private chatroom. It was a game called suspicious messenger or whatever. And I was a gal because ofc a game with hot guys would be an otome and the MC would be a girl. Awesome.**
> 
>   
> **Except it was like I was actually there??? The first one who called me and half acknowledged I was a guy was 707. His name is Luciel Choi** _._

_Fuck._

_\----------------------------------------_

-Today at 22:42-

> **laughsassin:** wait wait wait  
>  **laughsassin:** are you talking about a dream again?  
>  **laughsassin:** I’ve told you a thousand times that I can’t read your mind, if you want to talk about something yo gotta gimme som context  
>  **laughsassin:** at least you should’ve kiss him  
>  **laughsassin:** how could you space out for so long without noticing an anime handsome man????  
>  **laughsassin:** you lost me

  
Right, right. The last thing I told him was that encounter with Sae- No! It feels so wrong just thinking about his name, calm down Mian, calm down. Breath in, breath out. Even the hours between a single _fuck_ and reading through a journey of mental garbage isn’t enough to normalize this situation. Just answer your friend.

> **Mian:** It wasn’t a dream!!!!!! And I couldn’t do something like that even if I knew I were dreaming. Some people have this thing: dignity.  
>  **Mian:** But now that you mention it, I  
>  **Mian:** I might have seen him in a dream… more than once  
>  **Mian:** but I need to think about it before spilling  
>  **Mian:** I was reading my dream diary, Writing my dreams it’s not something I always do. Happened just a couple of times, years ago  
>  **laughsassin:** so first you tell me first hand about it, maybe the next moment after it, and now you decide to be secretive  
>  **laughsassin:** well, fine. drink tea or something  
>  **laughsassin:** so that erases the possibility of that familiarity being something tied to his corporal language or physical apperacance?  
>  **laughsassin:** appearance*  
>  **laughsassin:** guess you’re are still calming down. I’ll be right here
> 
> -Today at 23:12-
> 
>   
> **Mian:** It’s Luciel Choi  
>  **laughsassin:** what, right. you said he was a redhead with yellow eyes.  
>  **laughsassin:** what does he has to do with a corporeal being?  
>  **Mian:** can you wait a moment, I’m still typing  
>  **Mian:** I was going to say it’s the same person. I know it’s hard to understand how, I’ll write a summary on that matter  
>  **laughsassin:** quick tip  
>  **laughsassin:** don’t  
>  **laughsassin:** I’ll be honest: your summaries suck  
>  **laughsassin:** you can become better with a few tries and practice but for today, just assault me with the entire story. its better than staring at the screen for 5 minutes without understanding what the fuck and then laughing because the entire drama/action plot that you described ended up being detective pony encore: more blood  
>  **Mian:** asgsdjsgh FINE  
>  **Mian:** And it was a one time thing  
>  **Mian:** …  
>  **Mian:** Wait a moment  
>  **laughsassin:** =__=
> 
> -Today at 23:44-
> 
>   
> **laughsassin:** are you there?  
>  **Mian:** I’m almost done typing, wait  
>  **laughsassin:** you’ve been typing all this time? wow. ok. what if you send me the short version while I wait?  
>  **laughsassin:** please?  
>  **Mian:** Alright, short version here we go:  
>  **Mian:** I dreamt about hot dudes who were desperate for affection plus a girl who were also on that but would not admit it because #nohomo. Oh right, I was a girl without eyes in this world. So they told me to hold a party for the least fortunate and I had to lie to convince random people and objects to attend it. Like a cat, a curry bowl and the C language? But the party was a lie because the head of the organization was supposed to be dead but was actually very alive and brainwashing people with drugs with the help of the redhead’s lost twin brother: and edgy marshmallow boy with aesthetic gothic tendencies. A lot of crazy shit happened like there was a bomb in the apartment where I was staying and I’m pretty sure I saw a talking omelet and a kettle with glasses? Well, the redhead who was also a hacker of a secret organization protected me from blowing out and we learned about life, philosophy and love. We were planning to open a toy store with AI toys that my husband made and maybe having some kids (I was the no-eyes gal here, don’t forget it). While giving therapy to marshmallow boi after we broke into a religious cult to save him and the blind sea scented photographer guy died. But, there was also something about a what if I knew everyone sooner, there I had the chance to end with the psychotic head of the cult (she was hot). Oh I forgot, It was supposed to be a game but… I was there. I would have pleaded for my life but everyone were so impossibly hot it was so distracting haha;;;  
>  **laughsassin:** holy shit
> 
> -Today at 23:58-
> 
>   
> **Mian:** Here’s the long version:  
>  **Mian:** thisthing.txt  
>  **laughsassin:** you are messing with me  
>  **laughsassin:** a document? really?  
>  **laughsassin:** also a txt, couldn’t you spare me at least a word document?  
>  **laughsassin:** what will be next, a shitty summary in binary code?  
>  **Mian:** You will read it  
>  **laughsassin:** I’m afraid I will
> 
> -Today at 00:44-
> 
>   
> **laughsassin:** so you are telling me you alter-universe married the guy you met today. I would have appreciated if you didn’t elaborate with the entire lifestory of the guy, or the things that you made your poor eyeless avatar girl do  
>  **Mian:** I told you she did it on her own! I don’t know how. But that was something that totally happened  
>  **Mian:** And I’m being serious about it  
>  **Mian:** Also, I did kept some things confidential  
>  **laughsassin:** I don’t doubt it, didn´t help tho  
>  **laughsassin:** if this is the revised and censored version and it did include religious cults and emotional abuse, better keep this pg16  
>  **laughsassin:** (pg13 already violated with mentions of violence)  
>  **laughsassin:** and all that time when you talked about 707, a guy from a game you didn’t remember the name. you were referring to the game inside those dreams? wow  
>  **laughsassin:** anyways, it’s a lot. are you sure all this were a dream and not some elaborate prank or fanfiction that you read, out of boredom?  
>  **laughsassin:** do you expect me to believe you dreamt all this crazy yet somewhat too-coherent-to-be-a-dream story in just a couple of nights? were you in coma or something?  
>  **Mian:** I told you, it was actually a series of dreams, each covered a part in the story, some parts repeated until I did something different in the dream. There are still parts that I don’t understand and there’s parts I remember I forgot when I woke up  
>  **laughsassin:** ok, you the only one I know who so far has confirmed premonition dreams are a thing  
>  **laughsassin:** when you ever sleep more than 4 hours  
>  **laughsassin:** so I will give you the benefit of the doubt  
>  **laughsassin:** in which case, why didn’t you tell me before?  
>  **laughsassin:** even if you hadn’t the real guy stumbling in your life like a movie  
>  **laughsassin:** which by the way is something I can’t fully process yet  
>  **laughsassin:** it’s a pretty complex story  
>  **laughsassin:** and here I thought meeting a yellow redhead were something out of the ordinary, you drop the bombs right in front of me and blew my fragile mind  
>  **Mian:** Oh, at first I didn’t want to talk about it. It was something that happened some years ago, before we entered college. And, you know, when I got accepted in college everything was hellish and I barely ate and slept. So even if it was something that impacted me, my mind needed to be somewhere else, I needed to produce results and that made me forget with time.  
>  **laughsassin:** why didn’t you want to talk about it?  
>  **laughsassin:** ?  
>  **Mian:** Sorry, I’ll tell you another time  
>  **laughsassin:** ok  
>  **laughsassin:** try to get some sleep  
>  **Mian:** Yeah, you too.

I turn off my phone so I don’t get distracted and possibly sleep deprive again, but I know it won’t be so easy after today. I’m sure it was him, I remember his voice and his appearance. However, something keeps bugging me, what if it’s the same person but a different life? Or if I don’t get the chance to see him again? Would that the possible with this flow of events?

  
Yeah that would be pretty fucking possible. Shit just happens and all that jazz.

  
Maybe he is a different person after all, then he could have had a less of the shitty life he had in my dreams. That would be great, good for him. I roll on my bed.

  
Because if he has lived the same life as in my dreams, he probably doesn’t know where is his brother, or if living like he is its worth it.

  
_Argh._

  
It’s too much for today, I am overwhelmed and I know I won’t shut up with my personal rant so I force myself to shut my eyes and sleep. I am glad I changed my clothes before writing the story of my alter life since I don’t feel like doing anything right now. Sleep, that’s what I need. Sleeping is the only thing that can put me at ease in this situation. There’s a chance I will dream about it again, after all this years. Whatever, I’ll handle what happens tomorrow.

  
After I’m tired of fighting with myself and hearing my own voice, I left my conscience slowly drift away.

\---

  
_707: Honey!~ come to the kitchen, I made dinner._

  
_As soon as I read the message, I went downstairs. The apartment of agent 707 is fancier and bigger than it seems, but it always looked empty until I started living with him. That reminds me of the first time I was here, 707 didn’t have any groceries. He was used to eating junk food, take out and the infamious Honey Butter Chips with Doctor Pepper. Honestly, It didn’t take me long to find a way to stock proper food in his kitchen and begin cooking for him. Saeyoung were surprised by my culinary skills, orphans power! Amirite? Although it always felt strange doing things through MC’s body. Like being the one in command, first seat in the action. But still somewhat Not there._

  
_However, I would be the most surprised out of both as soon as I had a taste of Saeyoung’s cooking. It was the best. Maybe this is how a homecooked meal made with love tastes. Great isn’t enough to describe it, It kind of reminds me of the chef too. But I couldn’t help but ruin the moment with a bittersweet feeling that followed not so happy thoughts. Why wouldn’t Seven cook for himself if he were so good at it? I list a series of reasons why, but in the end, I couldn’t ignore the truth. When you are depressed, you don’t want to do even the simplest things. Eating, sleeping, taking care of yourself, the absence of it is like a self punishment that aggravates the illness. But when you don’t want to either live or die, you just let yourself softly drift away._

  
Slowly drift away?

  
\---

  
I wake up in the middle of the night, It wasn’t a nightmare, but it hurt like one. There’s a single tear in my right eye and I wipe in with the back of my hand. Through the day, I had a little(fine, not so little) breakdown after remembering everything. The worst thing I think, is realizing that it weren’t just dreams. One thing is creating a world inside you, something that could be the weird aftermath of simple desires and maybe too much drama. But another and very freaking different thing is seeing a person, flesh and bones, that could be happening to be the person you saw there.

  
I don’t want to rant to myself again about things that I already now, I know what I’m avoiding. There’s a fuckton of reasons why I shouldn’t be like this, worrying about something, someone that I could even never see again. Honestly, maybe that would make things easier. But who wants easier when you can have the sequel or something that changed a part of you? But fuck, I know Mian, I fucking know it. If I had the chance I would probably bother the guy, awkwardly hit on him a little too much and the story wouldn’t end as *nice* (as far as drama land with sexy- I mean _skilled_ hackers and brainwashed twin brothers go) as it were in the dream. First, I’m a guy. That’s pretty obvious, I vaguely remember him saying gender wouldn’t matter but still.

Secondly, I’m not as near as calm and smooth as MC was. _Fuck_ , If I were in his position even _I_ would fell in love with her. It felt like I was taking the decisions but she was there, in the middle of everything. Bright and confident. While I am nothing less than awkwardness and mild social anxiety personified. And most important, third: The part of him pushing people out of his life because it’s too dangerous. And in reality, it fucking is.  
He needs someone to be by his side, someone to cheer him up, someone to inspire him and someone to understand him. And that someone isn’t me.  
If this were an anime, novel, game or whatever; I would probably would have to *have* this internal drama when we actually develop a meaningful relationship. When I actually know it wasn’t like the nice stranger that help you once and you never got to see again.

  
But would it make sense if I never got to see someone so important for me? I got this feeling, that I’ll see him again and again. And I know life doesn’t make sense. Shit just happens and all that. But still, there are things that are connected by direct causation. I’m sure, once again, even if I don’t see him around, now I know that he exists, I would probably move sky and earth to find him. Oh shit, wasn’t him the best hacker? That means I wouldn’t be able to locate him.

  
I let out a laugh, poor guy. Just saw him once and I’m really thinking about how the fuck I’m supposed to track him down. Ha ha, not creepy at all. I might as well just let him found me, oh? That doesn’t sound so bad…

  
I laugh again, this escalated quickly. But it’s better than a self-deprecating train of thought. Anyways, there’s nothing harmful in just trying to be his friend, right? Right. I’ll even force myself to go on blind dates, use a tinder or do whatever people do these days so I can keep myself from wanting to cross the line or whatever.

  
Yes, that sounds reasonable. Great, splendid, awesome, cool.

  
No, no, don’t even try to think more about it, I said that’s cool! Lie in bed, pull the sheets and let the natural toxins that are making you dizzy, put you to rest. For once, sleep now, freak out later.


	2. Who you are and who I try to be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day Mian spents the day looking for 707 without success. He summarizes some things about when they first met through the chat and suddenly, he feels he should go outside again. He founds Seven. Who is posing as a freelancer and they warm up to each other. Seven tells Mian to call him Seven and since he ‘lost his phone’, he gives Mian a schedule of possible meetings by the say of frequenting that cafeteria. A glimpse of Mian being in a room without personal belongins and the fear of having something that isn’t his is shown.

I barely slept, the sun in my face wakes me up. Right, I forgot to run the curtains. Anyways, I take a shower, wear something nice which by definition includes a long black coat because of the weather. And have an omelette and store orange juice for breakfast. Today my mission is lurking around the cafeteria in hopes of seeing Saeyoung again, while ignoring my work. I lock my apartment and start walking to my destination, taking my time.

Hmm, I shouldn’t call him by that name until he tells me to. Or even any name until he tells me to. Alright, I don’t want to freak him out so I should rehearse calling him redhead or something.

_Redhead, redhead, redhead._

I keep musing that word until it becomes natural.

\--

Unsurprisely, He’s nowhere to be seen. I spent all day out, windowshopping and eating in restaurants nearby. Not a sigh.

Too good to be true huh. I walk home at dawn, a day half wasted. Half because that’s kind of what I’m supposed to do here. It was actually relaxing going out for once, alone with my thoughts and everything. In a non-self-destructive way, just hopeful. Which helped me put my emotions in check, or at least, what I think are emotions.

Maybe it’s better this way, I don’t trust me enough to keep me from sliping out and saying his name. At least in the dreams, it represented his past. Something he’d been his whole life trying to hide from, escape from.

I know that feeling, my past isn’t as dramatic but still qualifies as something else. I don’t want to think about it so I try to merge what I read about the first time I met Sae- the redhead and my memories about it.

I was at home, a room with a bed, a desk with a chair, a dresser and a bookshelf. No sign of any personal belongings or interests. Ms. Cantara let me borrow her cellphone and I started rummaging through the apps. A new one suddenly pop up. I click it and a strange man talked to me via text message, he said he wanted to return the phone to his owner. What? And now the phone I had in my hands weren’t Ms. Cantara’s. I was afraid of having something that isn’t mine, I panicked. So I followed the instructions of the stranger about how to return it. When he sent me the address, I never saw it before, but for some reason, I knew exactly where was that place. Next thing I knew, I was in front of an elegant apartment. It even had an electronic lock to put a target or a password.

 _I won’t break into a stranger’s apartment,_ I thought, then I froze. I felt someone staring at me, like waiting for me to open the door and go inside. Fine, I’ll break into a stranger’s apartment.

“Thank you” the man said, a weird alarm and the screen changed.

“Welcome to Mystic Messenger”, the message appeared and disappeared as fast. Now I was in the private chatroom of an organization. Everyone was mostly nice. First cautious, surprised, but nice as soon as the man with shades said it was fine. 707 said I was cute. My heart skip a beat as I looked into the security camera. “She”, they called me. “I’m not a girl”, I said. “thenwhyareyouplayingthisgame” It isn’t exactly a game, isn’t it? As soon as that talk ended, 707 called me, hearing his voice woke me up to the realness of the situation. “Honey, I love you” That’s what he made me said. What he said too. It was too much for me. Is he flirting with me? What does this mean? They insisted I was a girl but my voice wouldn’t lie.

That’s when I felt it, a soft breeze in my legs. I was wearing a skirt, comfy may I add. I looked for a bathroom and saw myself in the mirror. The reflection it… wasn’t myself. It was a beautiful girl with long brown hair, pearl skin and yellow eyes. She looked surprised. I tried to touch her face, I could after a few tries. For some reason, I was disappointed. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

I’m “home”, cheap apartment all the way, mostly because it’s old and has leaks. But at least it has the basics. Open kitchen, bathroom with a shower, living room with a giant box of a TV and a small bedroom with a generous king sized bed occupying most of the space. Nice.

I can’t keep wasting time nor money in food. I already bought groceries to cook most of my meals. At least for this month. But it’ll be a waste not to act fast and spend all the time I can with the redhead. No, I don’t even know that, I’m overthinking again.

-Today at 19:58-

> **Mian:** Hey
> 
> **laughsassin:** hi, are you feeling better?
> 
> **Mian:** Yeah
> 
> **Mian:** How was your day?
> 
> **laughsassin:** tiring as always, today at the workshop we taught the children how to use the app. It was hard so you get how much work we have left until it can be published
> 
> **laughsassin:** lots of bugs too, concentrated in a part that tells us the guy probably left everything last minute and it’s a miracle it somewhat works
> 
> **laughsassin:** it’s ok now, teacher Gracia stood beside him until he fixed it. In that passive aggressive way that makes you become a perfectionist so you don’t have to see a mostly tender and patient old woman angry
> 
> **Mian:** Hmm, guess you’ll have to extend the deadline at this pace. Wish I could help.
> 
> **laughsassin:** I’m guessing you haven’t start your work
> 
> **Mian:** Affirmative
> 
> **laughsassin:** have you at least planned it already?
> 
> **Mian:** I haven’t finished doing that but it’s almost ready. I drafted some key goals
> 
> **laughsassin:** take it easy.
> 
> **laughsassin:** talk to you later. I have a meeting
> 
> **Mian:** Thank you and take care

Hmm.

Something tickles inside me. _Go out_ , it yearns. It’s barely 8pm. There’s still life outside, specially in this city. _“South Korea”_ I talk with myself. The feeling stays. I've always had a hard time with feelings and such. Like I were inspecting them from afar, it would rarely felt like coming from myself.

 _Go out_ , it insists. Fine. I go out.

I don’t have a goal, I just walk and now I’m at the cafeteria again. Must be suspicious someone who has been around all day, coming back. Sigh, this is the epitome of pointless and dumb. But I let myself feel such things sometimes. It’s a change at least. A change of view like the person who walks in front of me, in an ocean of heads with black or brown hair. A redhead.

He stands in line to order, it’s a busy hour. A pulse of excitement send shivers through my spine. I follow and try my best at casual encounter.

“Hey! Hi! How are you doing today? You are the guy from yesterday, I’m- still sorry for the coffee.”

“Hello, don’t mention it. It’s ok. Try to be more careful next time.“ he pauses “ you could have burnt your fingers.”

“Nah. It was cold already. I spaced out way too long. Should have been more careful. If not for me, at least for the rest of people.”

That came out too honest. I should be careful with what I say. But I find myself unable to hide it.

Silence.

I’ve been waiting for this opportunity all day and still. Now I realize I had nothing in mind. Still I’d hate to waste it.

“What’s your name? I could- maybe inva- invite you a coffee or something?”

He stands still, now I feel scared of him ignoring me. Then, he turns to look me in the eye. I’m startled, can’t fake my surprise nor my embarrassment.

“Really?”

Question ignored, He says it like It’s just one of the strangest things some stranger ever has told him. I nod and then wait for his answer in the middle of the white noise of people chatting. Then it strucks me, he won’t be taking it as if I were flirting with him, weren’t him? Oh my god, no. Wait a moment, what if he isn’t alone? I don’t have a clue of what to do so I start blabbering like I always do when I’m nervous but trying to be honest.

“It’s not like I’m asking you to sit on the same table and all that, I’m sorry if it seemed weird. You could let me buy you something and then go meet your friends and enjoy the night“

Great, now it really implies that I invited him to share a table with me and chat.

“Actually, I could enjoy the company“ And he gives me a tiny smile.

That disarmed me. Wow, I can’t believe it but seeing him smile right now, feels unreal. I never thought I’d have the chance to see him, to see him smile in flesh, in front of me. I need to stop, now I notice that he is the next in line, I was walking forward without thinking. He makes space for me to order with him.

Medium toast and toast. Plus cake, I insisted. He wanted the apple pie and I ordered the same. I pay and we sit in a table near the back of the cafeteria, not a window near.

He stares at me like watching the paint dry, holding his mouth with his left hand, elbow resting on the table. A pose of pure contemplation (passive boredom). _“Show me what you got before I abandon you”_ come to my mind. I’m quick to break the silence.

“So, what’s your name? “

“John, you? “

John, huh? Like John Doe…

“Mian“

“That’s a peculiar name, but it suits you. “

“Oh, thank you? “

“I mean it as a compliment“ –a tiny smile again. This one is diplomatic.

Wish I could say the same. John?

He continues.

“What brings you here? Are you a tourist? “

Down with the interrogatory, at least I don’t have to use my conversational skills(which I lack of).

“What gave it away? “

(Forgetting the fact that we’re talking in English).

“It’s something like that, I came here to develop an app. I won a contest and my hard work is being payed with community service hours and a trip to this city“

Not a change in his expression. But I’d like to think I can see relief in his eyes and that his body seems more relaxed.

“That sounds like a great opportunity for you, depending on what you have to do“

“Yeah it’s great. I haven’t adjusted yet but it’s been great so far“

He drops his arm and adopts another stance.

He seems to be about to say something, but the waitress interrupts it. Two coffees and two cakes. We thank the waitress and start eating. God, this is too much for my fragile mind (whoops, I’m starting to talk like my friend). I don’t want to fuck this over so I’ll try my best at deep breath without making it too obvious. That’ll help me brace myself to whatever happens tonight. Guess you’ll never be prepared for the important things.

“Are you okay? “

“Sorry, I’m just worried about it haha… Are you from here? “

That’s actually truth, and something that I realized the moment I said it.

"Yeah, could say so. I work here doing something similar. But-" he chuckled “Don’t think I’ll let it slide. You are going to do fine! I’m sure. I've never met a stranger so eager to apologize or caring about bothering strangers in a place where nobody will know.“

…

“Really?“ My turn to be nothing but surprised and a little embarrassed. I can’t fight the smile forming in my lips when he answers.

“Suuure. And I’m going to eat your cake if you won’t.“

“Right, haha. Thank you.“

“ By the way, I work with technology and all that too, but it’s mostly boring work doing small apps and websites. Nothing too complex, like the local bookstore wants it’s own website so you can order online and use coupons. Nothing fancy.“

“ I’m more about local and mobile apps, although I’m not that good. I’m learning as I pull it out. Like this one. I won because they liked the idea."

“That’s what matters, you can always learn what you need. And hey, now I can lend you a hand too. If you are in trouble you can always ask agent 70- I mean, sorry”

He takes a moment, maybe to reconsider clearing that or not. He starts to speak again.

“I like to play around like if I were some sort of … hero when it comes to work. It helps me relax, you know? Now you know my darkest secrets, how embarrassing."

“I feel you. And don’t worry! You’re already my hero for what you said earlier“ – _shit._

He laughs in a full and bright smile for the first time. I need to learn to shut up and maybe tone down my language. At least he seems to be enjoying it.

“Wow, you totally get me. You gotta play around so the ideas flow!!!”

“And what will be the name of this secret agent?”

“Agent 707! Defender of justice!”

The awkwardness vanished, like this is the 707 I know. From then we chat like two old friends who haven’t seen each other in a long time. He tells me about this figure, agent 707.

“You can call me Seven. I rarely use my name anyways”

“It suits you better agent 707.”

He smiles. It’s hard not to play along.

“I gotta go”

“Hmm, Can I… get your number?”

(Completely normal thing to say, right? Completely normal).

“Well, I lost my phone a couple of days ago.”

“That’s bad…”

“I come here often tho. We could meet here again until I can get a new one. Do you have a pen?”

“No” I say with my head. He stood up and walked to the barista. I followed him, waited while he talked with her. He came back with a small piece of paper: a flyer of the cafeteria, and a red pen.

“That’s it, this way you know when to find me. If you give me your number I can send you a text when I get a new phone.”

He splits the flyer. I wrote my number down as well as my email because one never knows, right? Right. But this doesn’t feel clear enough.

“So… see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I’ll be here.”

“It was nice to meet you, Seven.”

“Yeah, I- it was nice to meet you too. Bye.”

I watch him disappear again. Schedule of possible encounters in hand.

-Today at 23:45-

> **Mian:** I talked with him
> 
> **Mian:** And also managed to finish my work
> 
> **Mian:** At least the planning part
> 
> **Mian:** Most productive night in a LONG TIME
> 
> **Mian:** I didn’t get his number, he said that he lost his phone
> 
> **Mian:** But I gave him mine and he gave me some schedule of how many times and when he usually goes to that cafeteria where we can chat while I go bankrupt
> 
> **Mian:** At first he said that his name was john but later he told me to call him seven and he talked about being agent 707 and played around too so I’d say it’s the same person?????
> 
> **Mian:** Anyways ;)))
> 
> **Mian:** We’ll meet tomorrow x)
> 
> **laughsassin:** ???
> 
> **laughsassin:** how smooth are you?
> 
> **laughsassin:** who are you? I don’t know you
> 
> **laughsassin:** what did you do to my friend??
> 
> **laughsassin:** now’s not the time to spare details, did you seriously managed to pass the dream hubby and develop some sort of relationship with a game construct?
> 
> **laughsassin:** does that mean the rest of the rfa exists too?
> 
> **laughsassin:** even the blonde one?
> 
> **laughsassin:** no wait
> 
> **laughsassin:** the rabbit-like albino?
> 
> **laughsassin:** no no wait wait wait
> 
> **laughsassin:** EVEN THE BILLIONAIRE HEIR??
> 
> **Mian:** What


	3. Chapter 3

That night I couldn’t sleep, I kept rolling in my bed like some teenager who just got asked out by his childhood crush and honestly, emotions? I’d like to say ‘gross’ but I promised myself I would be beyond the emotional constipation that was my life before. I breathed in and out, steading my breath until I was able to fell unconscious.

The following day I was nonstop, preparing and checking that everything would be perfect for the... meeting. It’s not a date, not a date. Or kinda? A friendly-date? What matters is that Seven is ok seeing me again and that is enough to fuel excitement through my body.

I won’t be here for long, If I want to spend more time with him, I should finish my work as soon as possible. Or else-

I stop for a moment; I was rummaging through my clothes, trying to find the best outfit. I feel the motivation, the excitement to just live that I haven’t felt in months. Maybe years. I want to calm down, why is my brain in either “everything is bland” mode or producing stimuli like a shooting star? I walk to my ‘desk’ that truly, is just a part of the kitchen table where I placed my laptop. My friend haven’t answered since yesterday, he’s probably busy but he seemed really interested in the RFA. Can’t blame him, after all, the prospect of an albino (who also bragged to be the most handsome man in the world and is probably right) and a billionaire heir, isn’t bad to hear. If I could talk with such personalities, it would really be something. Not just them, the rest of the RFA too, they were real nice. Kind and warm, even Saeran when he was able to talk.

…

Saeran, I wonder if he’s fine.

…

Take it slow, Mian. You can do this.

The wooden chair emits a creek as I sit down to web search. I start with the safer name: Jumin Han. After a couple of minutes without meaningful results, I wonder if my browser is too biased or if I should write his name in Korean. However, I don’t try harder. What if I find something that I can’t accept? I am powerless right now and I barely talked with Seven, whose existence still messes with my psyche.

Yep, bad idea. Not so fast soldier, better leave it for now.

Cielle can search it later if he wants to.

\------------------------------------------------

When I reach the cafeteria it’s 7:45pm, Seven said he would be here at 8pm. But when I’m pushing the door, I see him approaching from the stairs that lead to the second floor. He greets me with a wave, a smile on his face.

“Seven?”

“Mian! It’s nice to see you.”

The familiar tone in such a friendly greeting makes me smile too.

“It’s nice to see you too. I didn’t know you’ll be so early.” Can’t help sounding apologetic.

“Don’t worry about it, you’re early yourself.” he brushed his neck with his hand. “Come here, guess you haven’t been on the second floor yet, right?”

We sit on a table beside a window, which goes from floor to cealing. I watch the artificial lights of outside reflected in Seven, a symphony of colors. Blue, red, yellow and violet.

“How was your day?” Seven asks, probably ignorant of my staring.

“I had a nice day, what you told me yesterday really helped me focus. How was yours?”

“I finished my work!!! Yesterday I was _reaaaally_ stressed so I came here to take a break. After we played around my batteries were charged so I went home and taugh those lines of code who’s the best! Then I slept all day after weeks of sleep deprivation and even had a feast of nutritious food for once too. ”

“That’s great! I’m glad you got proper rest and food but... how did something like that happened?”

“I know! It’s just that my deadlines are crazy. I have clients that pay more and expect me to turn possible the impossible. I mean, There’s nothing I can’t do! But sometimes, I like to take it easy too.”

“You can’t turn down their offers?”

“I wish I could. It’s hard to-” He takes a moment to complete it “work as a freelancer. I have to deliver only the best of the best. Gotta build a reputation y’know” He says bitterly.

‘John Doe’, ‘small boring projects’… I want to lie to myself and think that he isn’t working for the agency, but It sounds just like that.

“Anyways, I’m glad you are doing fine. You seemed really tired yesterday.”

“That’s such a weird thing to notice” he admits embarrassed “Like you’ve known me from ages, like from a different timeline!” I grimace for a second before forcing myself to look thoughtful. Knowing him from before it’s kind of true in a sense. But it still hits different. And why does that sound oddly romantic? Control yourself Mian.

“It was just too obvious” I lie, I shallow the guilt. I know I shouldn’t know so much. He stays silent. Maybe I should say something that’s true.

“A different timeline? Why does that sound like the story of the tragic lovers that reincarnate in an alternate world. You know the one that's about two penpals-” _shit shit shit_ “when they first met they felt a connection like they’ve known each other all their lives and-” SHUT UP BRAIN! Oh my god? I am even gesticulating all that trash? ”they realize they’re meant to be together from the start” clap “they face multiple trials but eventually end together and form a family” AAAHHH! “hahaha” _fuck._

I laugh because I can’t believe my own stupidity and he laughs too, at least that’s a relief. Way to go, Mian. Terrific.

“That’s, wow. I don’t even know where to start!” He laughs again. My ability to spill shit is only challenged by my ability to blush and get embarrassed from stuff I just said. I facepalm.

“Where did that come from, Mian?” I want to know too! I’m just so stupid.

“It’s the title of a movie.”

“What?” His eyes go wide and his smile disappears. I know, I know. My hand retreats from holding my face.

“I know, I know. But it’s true. There’s a movie out there whose title is literally the complete plot. What a way to spoil the fun, yes. But guess some people might appreciate knowing the pining would pay off eventually and that it ends well.”

His smile comes back.

“How- How do you know it? How do you find something like that?” he chuckles.

“I don’t know. My friend likes to watch the strangest movies, he spends a lot of time looking for ‘hidden gems’. Like homemade movies, independent movies or.” I pause to make the gesture for increased effect “ ’ironic’ movies. I watch some with him sometimes. His frustrated dream is to be a film director.”

“He sounds passionate about it. Why is it a frustrated dream tho?"

“I think that one you should ask him yourself. I’m sure you’d get along.”

“I’d love to watch some of those movies too!”

“Oh yes, we can have a watch party!”

“That would be great!” He laughts shyly. “I still can’t believe this”

“What?”

“Talking with you is really nice. Even that friend of yours, I haven’t met him yet, and I already feel like liking him just for the way you talk about him. Are you a friendship wizard or something?”

“Oh. I- Don’t think so??? Maybe it’s just you being so nice it’s easy to talk with you”

“Hey! Don’t counter my compliment with another compliment!”

“I regret nothing. And I think we should go downstairs and actually buy something to eat.”

“About that, don’t worry. That’s for take out and the impatient ones. Someone should come here in a couple of minutes, we can chat while we wait.”

“Got it”

Silence. I’ve never been the type to start conversation so I just resume my staring at him. He looks uncomfortable, whoops.

“Haha, it’s there something you want to ask?”

“No I just, I like the lighting.” I look through the window, the landscape that created the combination that I dig so much “Everything looks great, a scene from a movie or something. I’d like to take a picture, but pictures lack the fullness of experiencing it with your eyes.”

“Oh, That’s true. I kind of understand how you get along with your friend. Do you like taking pictures?”

“No, but I like staring and burning everything in my mind even if I know I won’t go back to it later. I like how it feels, it distracts me. It’s relaxing.”

“I understand. You know. When I feel depressed, I stare at the sky. Try that when you feel down” wait, this is- “The sky is right up there, but people don’t really look at it. Unless you work near an observatory or on a boat… Don’t you think that’s such a shame?”

He told me this exact thing through the phone that one time.

“It won’t be bad” he continues “To look up at the sky and yell ‘Defender of justice Seven Zero Seven, help me!’ too. There’s a 0.0001% chance I might appear right in front of your eyes.”

“I wish that percentage wasn’t so low”

“Huh? Oh- right. But it’s better than nothing! You-“

The prophecy is complete; someone really came here to offer us menus to order. Seven orders the same as yesterday and I order regular coffee, less bitter and even with whipped cream now.

The waiter leaves. We resume chatting, this time about meaningless things like movies and music. His laughter brings me back to those dreams. Those days were some of the best I’ve ever had, I even thought it was a form of a self-defense system my brain produced to make me happy. It’s bittersweet, laughing and having a great time with someone like him. I shallow that feeling for the sake of enjoying this moment.

After a couple of minutes, the waiter comes back with our order and we continue chatting and laughing. There’s a point when my coffee is already cold, and we’re chatting about some obscure series, which helps me forget.

“And there’s Carmen, she was like the NPC who says a line and then is forgotten. A bland, plain character who was like a rock in the scenario” I really wanted to like her. So much potential, wasted. “I can’t understand why they gave her the fate to end up with Alan! We got to know Alan through lots of different perspectives, he had one of the best redemption and character arcs I’ve ever seen. Then, one day they tell us they end together? Why? How? _Why??_ I mean, I can’t blame Carmen for wanting to be with him” Who wouldn’t? “But there’s literally nothing Alan could have seen in her. The cabbage from the beach episode had more personality and even impact in the plot than her.”

“I was rushing my marathon of the episodes until Alan appeared. I read somewhere that the producers considered pairing him with Lea but changed their mind midway. And there was this weird comment about Alan experimenting the patience and acceptance that he never felt from his mother through Carmen”

“What? Really?! First, Freud would be proud. Second, wasn’t part of his path about not needing anyone’s acceptance? And Lea, they would have been great really, but I always felt there was someone better for him” No way I’m telling him I’m talking about Alan’s best friend. “It really is strange. At least I’ll give it that Alan’s mother really affected him even if it wasn’t that obvious in the series. She wasn’t exactly a bad person, but she shouldn’t had have kids.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot of people like that” he stares though the window ”Another season or an epilogue would be great. We know that Alan wanted to form a family. But we never got to see how that worked out.”

“That’s true.”

“Do you ever dream about having a family?”

“Eh- I don’t know” I try not to think about it.

“Same. I always tell myself that I’m sure I don’t want anything of that. However, sometimes I wonder, is it an actual possibility? Same as when Alan would ask himself the same when he still had a long way to grow as a person.”

“I think it makes sense for some people but happiness means different things depending on the person. People change so it’s ok not having all the answers. That last one is what, mmh, someone close to me would say.”

“From your family?”

“Yes. It’s complicated.”

“Oh, I understand.”

Now or never “What about you? How’s your family? Do you have any siblings?”

“No. I’m an only child. You?”

_Huh?_

“Stepbrothers and stepsisters. I don’t know much about them tho. I rarely see them.”

“Why?”

“Some are married, some live by themselves elsewhere. Our age gap is like that.” Damn, I don’t want to talk about it. I’d like to know more about him, not bore him with this. He keeps ignoring the important questions “Do you ever wonder what an alternate version of your life would be?” fuck, that was rushed. Just keep talking, please.

“I don’t know. Do you?”

A dead end.

I sigh.

“Sometimes.”

\------------------------

I wake up to the sound of birds chirping. Ugh, what time is it?I stand up and take a couple of steps to see through the window.

It is that perfect time before the sunrise, the perfect weather to go back to bed.

The air is fresh, impressive for a city- Wait, it can't be.

\------------------------

Bump, This time I wake up for good. Dreams inside dreams, I don't like that. It lefts me with an odd feeling, anxiety mixed with confusion.

It's been a week since I met Seven, Everyday I would see him one way or another, but today is a "not available" day. I wake up as someone who just finished their favorite series and now, don’t know what to do with their life.

Clothes? Nah, I'm comfy with my apple pajama print.

The past days I'd prepare breakfast early, so I stick to that. However, today I have something more simple. A boiled egg, an apple and lots of tea... 

I want to go back to bed...

_No, Mian_. You should work on the app.

Last night, Seven told me he should work on a new project so I asked him to give me his email so we can chat via message. I hope I’m not being pushy but fuck if I ever know how to do this things. He was unsure, but gave me an email. I say “an email” because it doesn’t look like his personal email. It’s more like those temporal emails you use because you have to register on a sketchy site and then proceed to forget about it 10 minutes later. 

I open my message app to find several unread messages of Cielle. Seems like he tried searching for the RFA members but couldn’t find anything. I push myself to the kitchen chair and turn on my computer, maybe he couldn’t find anything since it is in Korean. It is public information, so there must be something.

\---

…There isn’t anything, I spent an hour searching through the registers of all Korean Charities and couldn’t find anything. The RFA doesn’t exist.

I try something different, input “Jumin Han”, input “Zen theater actor”.

\------------------------

-Today at 23:45-

> **Mian:** [sent a photo]
> 
> **Mian:** [sent a photo]
> 
> **Mian:** [sent a photo]
> 
> **laughsassin:** so bunny actor and billionare hwir are real 2
> 
> **laughsassin:** heir*
> 
> **laughsassin:** this is good material
> 
> **laughsassin:** real good
> 
> **laughsassin:** can you imagine
> 
> **laughsassin:** I can turn this into a screenplay or something, first one a joke to build our audience, second one so great everyone will clap like an army of moths around a light about to summon THE moth and ready to do some crimesss
> 
> **Mian:** I see you’ve been drinking. Remember to drink water and lay down.
> 
> **laughsassin:** don’t worry got everything covered
> 
> **laughsassin:** and also how can an actor that unique go unnoticed, what’s wrong with everyone reallyyyyy

Cielle rants for a while, briefing mentioning how “cool” would be to meet the them and how unreal everything seems. I understand, unlike me, it’s the first time he saw a member of the RFA. I stare at my computer, what should I do? Yesterday’s chat with Seven left me uneasy. What if he doesn’t want to talk with me anymore?

It’s ok, I try to comfort myself, as I read the email he wrote. Someone can find many things through an email. For starters, one could look in a database, check if it was pawned or something. Because if it was, it will tell which service had the leak. With the service, one could find the user. With the user, country codes, other connections and maybe, even the ip code? With the ip, the exact address if the person didn’t use a VPN or —Nah, that’s probably unrealistic. Nothing less to expect with my close to zero skills in cyber security.

However, If Seven really were a hacker, the best hackers couldn’t track him. That means that if someone were to be tracked, that would be me. Right, I can test if he’s a hacker by giving myself away on purpose. Let’s see, what could be easy to check for a professional hacker?

…I have no idea.

Hmm… I remember he said something about checking MC’s internet history? Yeah, that will do.

Shit, it is already plagued with “RFA”, “Jumin Han” and “Zen musical theater”. Unless… Phew, I gave him that email I use to watch videos. I’ll try searching something that can’t be ignored. This is for scientific purposes.

…

And I have the perfect prospect.

\------------------------

Another day, another chance. Yesterday I couldn’t focus on my work, I played some games to relax and set a schedule to actually start working on the app. Today I took my sweet time doing breakfast as I prepare for another friendly appointment. I check my phone frequently; it is always in silence, so I have to stay alert. I finish checking my email for new messages that don’t involve social media or promotions or- fine, I checked if Seven sent me an email.

He hadn’t.

I move on to Cielle complaining about his poor life decisions. Everything ready, I should work on the app.

...

“Mian! you’re early today as well.”

“Seven, it’s nice to see you.”

We sit near the window, on the second floor as the last time. My worries about our last chat vanish. He is bright as always.

“So, do you live here?”

“Yes, although I travel sometimes. How long are you staying here, Mian?”

“For about two months, I can ask for another week or maybe two if I have a reason to stay.”

“What would that reason be?”

“The promotion of the app, exploring around, adding extra features to the app. It’d be more about if I’m willing to miss the first weeks of next semester. I could even stay just because I want to keep hanging out with someone.”

“Wow Mian, are you flirting with me?”

My mind went at 300% its usual capacity. _“No! What? I didn’t thought it that way”_ Would be my instant reply, however, three different possible replies came to my mind, like a dating sim:

a)“What? No.” (I really didn’t _had_ such intentions but-)

b)”What? *proceeds to laugh*”

c)”No unless you want me to ;)”

I’m sick of waiting for something to change. Of giving mild reactions and getting mediocre results. I want to do something about my life!!! What if I'm already dead and just having a nice dream about some 2D that I liked talking to me on the flesh? Then act as you would on a game without the judgement of third parties. In the heat of the moment, I gather confidence and say:

“No, unless you want me to.” with a blank face.

“Huh?” His face went WOOOOO. Completely red and surprised in embarrassment. Mission accomplish! Wait, was it my goal? Oh no, I really did say that. Shit, I have no idea what to do now. Re-start, save, load!!!! AHHHH-

“It’s hard to know if you’re messing with me or being serious. Hahaha. We’d have a problem if you were honest about that.” And just gives me _a look._

Hold on, HOLD on. Is he taking it seriously? Really willing to accept something like that and give me an honest reply? IS THIS REAL LIFE? Holy fuck. I might as well go big or go home.

“What if it were?” I try to sound the right amount of calm. If this goes to shit, al least I want to be able to recover some dignity and say it was a joke.

“There’s no case.” He says contemplative. “I’m-“ You, _what?_ He pauses for a couple of seconds that feel like a pocket eternity, like gathering his thoughts. “Well-” Now he wears a devilish grin, satisfaction all written on his face. Scary and I-wont-say-hot-sue-me in equal measures. “It can’t be because I’m way better at pick-up lines. You’d be destroyed if you want to play this game.” I have no idea what he’s taking about but feel the ache to play along.

“Are you scared?”

“Ha, absolutely not, babe” he has the nerve to wink at me.

Woah, is this like a rap battle but, with flirting? Did something like that existed? Woah, I missed so many friendship mechanics. Here lies my pride, it never helped me _shit_. May it rest in peace.

“ You don’t sound so sure, sweetheart. But I can teach you any day, anytime you like.”

“I must warn you, I read the three volumes of Expert Playboy. If you’re not careful, I might bite."

“Do you think that would back me off, honey? You bark a lot. But can you keep your word to it? I’ll be delighted to see, shortcake.”

“So that’s how we’re playing? Didn’t expect you to be so bold. Take me to dinner first.”

“Hey, isn’t that sort of what we’re doing right now? You break my heart.”

“I broke your heart? You didn’t get me flowers or asked me for my future plans. I’m offended”

“Shit, you are right. My heartfelt apologies, applepie. I wasn’t on a right mind but we can still make that happen. Bring the candle lights and poor life decisions.”

“Pfffff Were have you been all my life?”

“In your heart, you just missed the-“

“I mean, really. Jokes aside, you are amazing, You totally get me! I feel like I could do this all day.”

“Uh, um. _Playing around_ with me?”

“Talking to you. I haven’t known you for long, Mian. But you are really a good friend. I feel like I can be myself whenever I’m with you. Whether it is fooling around or just chatting. It’s refreshing”

…

“I’m glad. You are a great person to hang out with, a- good friend.”

\------------------------

-Today at 23:45-

> Mian: hey
> 
> Mian: how do you make a friend?

No reply. He must be busy.

Am I really doing the right thing?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Brace yourselves for an emotional rollercoaster. This fic is rather long but I'll just post the first (unedited) chapters for now in case there's any feedback or ideas you can share with me. I'd love to hear your thoughts about it! I plan to finish this for the upcoming NaNoWrimo and edit it before going full mode and posting all the chapters. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the ride and if there's a single rule I'll follow, is that I'll finish what I started. I'm tired too of amazing fanfics without an ending.


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